Guilt or regret

I was recently asked… what is the difference between guilt and regret? I thought this was an interesting point to consider, so I figured I’d share my thoughts about it here.

The difference between feeling regret/remorse and feeling guilty has a rather fine line. Guilt is generated when you feel you have hurt or done something wrong to someone else, (or even to yourself), which has somehow resulted in negative consequences. You know you have made a mistake, but may find it difficult to reconcile because your heart is burdened by “guilt”. Regret is part of guilt in such situations, it is usually followed as a result of the situation.

However, regret by itself can follow from a wrong move, a step resulting in something that you did not anticipate. You misplace something and then forget where you put it, so you regret not carrying it with you. You regret the action taken. Guilt may not necessarily be attached to it, just a “wish I had made a different decision” kind of feeling. Guilt causes a greater weight as it is a lot more personally attached.

There is the option to carry the guilt, but it will remain a sour reminder of a situation gone terribly wrong. If the situation revolves around a friend, a solution, if possible, is to reach out to this friend and explain that you feel guilty and sincerely apologize if you caused any hurt. If it is a close friend then that person knows you, and if the person has an understanding nature, would then be inclined to forgive. It may relieve not only your own heart but even the heart of your friend. Whatever the result may be, at least Allah is aware of your intentions. Consider also that if someone who wronged you asks your forgiveness, you may equally feel guilt for not showing hunulity in a time when you were given the chance. All this is good to consider in a time when Ramadan is rapidly approaching, a time when we are to show humility.

سورة الأحزاب ٧٠-٧١
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَقُولُوا قَوْلًا سَدِيدًا
يُصْلِحْ لَكُمْ أَعْمَالَكُمْ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ ۗ وَمَن يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ فَقَدْ فَازَ فَوْزًا عَظِيمًا

سورة فصلت ٣٤-٣٥
وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ۚ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ
وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا ذُو حَظٍّ عَظِيمٍ

سورة البقرة ٢٦٣
قَوْلٌ مَّعْرُوفٌ وَمَغْفِرَةٌ خَيْرٌ مِّن صَدَقَةٍ يَتْبَعُهَا أَذًى ۗ وَاللَّهُ غَنِيٌّ حَلِيمٌ

Surah Al-Ahzaab 33:70-71
O ye who believe! Fear Allah, and (always) say a word directed to the Right:
That He may make your conduct whole and sound and forgive you your sins: He that obeys Allah and His Messenger, has already attained the highest achievement.

Surah Fussilat 41:34-35
Nor can goodness and Evil be equal. Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!
And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint,- none but persons of the greatest good fortune.

Surah Al-Baqara 2:263
Kind words and the covering of faults are better than charity followed by injury. Allah is free of all wants, and He is Most-Forbearing.

Show kindness and humility in the time ahead, and may you be blessed and rewarded for it.
I hope you found this an inspiring input that brought something to consider.

The best of times to you all inshallah.
Peace, happiness, and stay faithful.